Quick answer: Social skills IEP goals help a student connect with others in ways that feel natural to them: joining play, taking turns, having conversations, working in groups, solving conflicts and building friendships. Neuroaffirming social goals focus on connection and self-advocacy, not on forcing eye contact or masking. Below are 42 SMART social skills IEP goals organized by skill, with present level examples and data ideas.
In this goal bank
Many social skills IEP goals still read like a list of rules: “will make eye contact,” “will keep hands still,” “will stay on topic.” These goals often teach students to hide who they are. A better approach asks what the student wants socially and what gets in the way. Some students want one close friend. Some want to join recess games. Some need ways to say “I need a break from talking.” The IRIS Center notes that social skills instruction works best when it is explicit, practiced in real settings and matched to the student. Strong social skills IEP goals build real connection. For other areas, visit our complete IEP goal bank.
How to Write Social Skills IEP Goals
Formula: By [date], during [setting: recess, lunch, group work], given [support: visual, script, peer partner], [Student] will [observable social skill] in [number] of [opportunities] as measured by [observation data or peer interaction log].
Present level example: “Noah enjoys being near peers at recess but rarely joins games. He initiates an interaction with a peer about once per week. In structured games with an adult, he takes turns in 6 of 10 opportunities. Noah says he wants to play tag with classmates but does not know how to ask.”
Key point: Start with what the student wants. A goal tied to a student’s own social goal, such as joining a favorite game, is more motivating and more meaningful than a generic rule.
Joining and Initiating
- By [date], during recess or free time, [Student] will ask a peer to play using words, a script card or AAC in 3 of 5 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will greet a familiar peer or adult in their preferred way (wave, words, sign, AAC) in 4 of 5 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will join an ongoing activity by using a joining script (“Can I play?”) in 3 of 4 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will invite a peer to join an activity they enjoy in 2 of 3 weekly opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will approach a structured social group (lunch bunch, club) and stay for 10 minutes in 4 of 5 sessions.
- By [date], [Student] will share a favorite interest with a peer using a “show and share” item in 3 of 4 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will respond to a peer’s invitation to play by accepting or politely declining in 80% of opportunities.
Turn Taking and Sharing
- By [date], during a structured game with 1 to 2 peers, [Student] will wait for and take their turn with a visual “my turn” card in 8 of 10 turns.
- By [date], [Student] will share materials with a peer during a group task in 4 of 5 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will take turns choosing an activity with a peer using a choice board in 3 of 4 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will play a turn-taking game for 10 minutes with a peer and an adult nearby in 4 of 5 sessions.
- By [date], [Student] will use a timer to share a preferred item and return it when the timer ends in 4 of 5 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will cheer for or compliment a peer’s turn in 3 of 5 game opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will take turns in a game with peers without adult prompts in 70% of opportunities.
Free resource
Healthy Friendships Workbook for Teens
Activities for communication, boundaries, conflict resolution and positive peers.
Conversation Skills
Conversation goals should respect different communication styles. For students who use devices, see AAC in the classroom.
- By [date], [Student] will ask a peer a question about their interests during a structured conversation in 3 of 5 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will respond to a peer’s comment or question with a related comment in 4 of 5 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will maintain a back-and-forth conversation of 3 exchanges on a shared topic in 3 of 4 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will use a visual topic board to start a conversation with a peer in 4 of 5 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will notice when a listener seems finished with a topic and ask “Do you want to talk about something else?” in 3 of 5 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will say they need a break from talking (“I need a quiet minute”) in 80% of opportunities when overwhelmed.
- By [date], [Student] will end a conversation politely (“See you later”) in 4 of 5 opportunities.
Group Work and Cooperation
- By [date], [Student] will complete an assigned role in a group project using a role card in 4 of 5 group activities.
- By [date], [Student] will contribute one idea to a group discussion using words, writing or AAC in 4 of 5 group sessions.
- By [date], [Student] will listen to a peer’s idea and respond with agreement or a question in 3 of 4 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will stay with a small group for the full activity with one planned break in 80% of sessions.
- By [date], [Student] will ask a group member for help or materials in 4 of 5 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will accept the group’s choice when it differs from their own in 3 of 4 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will work with an assigned partner to complete a task in 4 of 5 opportunities.
Conflict Resolution
Conflict skills overlap with flexibility IEP goals and behavior IEP goals.
- By [date], when a disagreement happens, [Student] will use an “I” statement (“I feel upset when…”) with a script in 3 of 5 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will ask an adult for help to solve a peer conflict instead of using physical actions in 4 of 5 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will choose a fair solution (take turns, share, flip a coin) from a visual menu in 4 of 5 conflicts.
- By [date], [Student] will accept an apology from a peer in 3 of 4 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will repair a problem with a peer in their own way (say sorry, help, draw a note) in 3 of 4 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will walk away and take space when a conflict feels too big in 80% of opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will describe a conflict and what they could try next time during a reflection in 4 of 5 opportunities.
Friendship and Self-Advocacy
For older students, see our guide to autistic teens and friendship.
- By [date], [Student] will identify two peers they would like to spend time with and plan one shared activity with adult support.
- By [date], [Student] will participate in a weekly interest-based club or lunch group in 4 of 5 weeks.
- By [date], [Student] will tell a peer about a sensory or communication need (“Loud games are hard for me, can we play this?”) in 3 of 4 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will recognize a kind act from a peer and thank them in 4 of 5 opportunities.
- By [date], [Student] will identify safe and unsafe social behaviors (kind teasing vs bullying) in 4 of 5 scenarios.
- By [date], [Student] will report unkind or unsafe peer behavior to a trusted adult in 100% of observed incidents.
- By [date], [Student] will share one social goal of their own during their IEP meeting.
The BERMED Goal-Writing Check
- B – Baseline: Do you know where, how often and with whom the student interacts now?
- E – Exact skill: Does the goal name one social skill tied to the student’s own social interests?
- R – Realistic: Does it respect the student’s communication style and energy for social time?
- M – Measurable: Can two adults count it the same way?
- E – Equitable access: Can the student use words, cards, gestures or AAC, and are peers taught too?
- D – Data plan: Who observes, in which settings, and when does the team review?
How to Measure Social Skills IEP Goals
| Skill | How to measure | Accommodations to pair |
|---|---|---|
| Initiating | Frequency of initiations per recess or lunch | Script cards, peer buddies, AAC |
| Turn taking | Percent of turns taken appropriately | “My turn” card, timers, structured games |
| Conversation | Number of back-and-forth exchanges | Topic boards, question prompts |
| Group work | Contributions per session, role completion | Role cards, small groups, breaks |
| Conflict | Percent of conflicts with a strategy used | Solution menu, “I” statement scripts |
| Friendship | Peer interaction log, club attendance | Interest clubs, lunch groups |
Prepare students for new social situations with social stories in the classroom, build peer understanding with inclusive classroom strategies, and pair these goals with anxiety IEP goals when social worry is the main barrier.
Neuroaffirming tip: Social differences go both ways. Autistic people often connect easily with other autistic people. Do not write goals for eye contact, hiding stims or acting “typical.” Teach peers too, and measure connection and comfort, not conformity.
What are social skills IEP goals?
Social skills IEP goals are measurable goals that help a student join activities, take turns, hold conversations, work in groups, solve conflicts and build friendships.
Should social skills goals include eye contact?
No. Eye contact can be uncomfortable or painful for many autistic students, and it does not show listening. Focus on meaningful connection and communication instead.
How do you measure social skills in an IEP?
Use observation data in real settings, such as initiations per recess, back-and-forth exchanges, percent of turns taken, group contributions and a peer interaction log.
Where should social skills be practiced?
Practice in real settings like recess, lunch, clubs and group work, not only in a pull-out room. Generalization matters most.
Do peers need support too?
Yes. Teaching peers about differences, using structured activities and building interest-based groups make social goals more successful for everyone.
5 Actions to Take This Week
- Ask the student what they want socially: friends, games, clubs or less pressure.
- Observe one recess and one lunch to see where connection happens.
- Set up one structured, interest-based social activity.
- Teach one joining script or AAC phrase and practice it.
- Choose 2 or 3 goals from this bank and start a peer interaction log.
Related reading:
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